2nd May 2014: Sydney, Australia

Temptation to past lifestyle choices is becoming an area requiring attention as time since my surgery passes whilst the side effects associated with my chemotherapy are seemingly decreasing. The actions last night are a perfect foundation to base the discussion on, and could be viewed as a shift away from the intentions established in my entries last year. Initially, I was in the same position, fluctuating between feelings of guilt, fear and regret, however, without justifying my actions, could the negative feelings be solely dependent on seeing myself as unwell or in a position of recovery? If so, it should be noted that I object to seeing myself as unwell or in a state of recovery. I completely accept the need to further develop myself emotionally and physically, however, the mental aspect of a Cancer diagnosis is often deemed one of the primary obstacles associated with overcoming the entire experience. It is for this very reason for reframing the context, and instead, viewing myself bound within a stage of preparation.

Undoubtedly, temptations are going to exist throughout my entire life, and not just in regards to lifestyle choices. Therefore, should I feel a level of guilt for socialising with friends on one occasion over some drinks or do I learn from the situation, finding a place for it in my life? Yes, I need to be mindful of what I put in my body, and how much sleep I have each night, however, attention equally needs to centre on connecting with close friends, and importantly the effects of finally feeling a degree of normality. I am not advocating a permanent change from the areas I deem essential to getting me to this level of health. Rather, placing the events from last night into perspective whilst recognising the benefits of social connection and unrestricted happiness.

To conclude, I believe an example can demonstrate the point above. Take for instance how pivotal the stage of preparation and training is for success, particularly in a sporting context. Now, say a professional sports team successfully applies a play or tactic in a real contest. It would be fairly accurate to hypothesis that more often than not, the play had first been developed in a less intense environment, i.e, a training session. Therefore, I propose similarities exist with our lives, with the underlying message relating to how we can be equipped to face future scenarios in my hopefully long and fruitful life. Of course, I will not make the right decision on every occasion, however, should I learn from the experience, it can still prove beneficial in the longterm. Regardless of whether people agree with what has been stated, reframing the events last night eroded any stress associated with my decision, and consequently, I am left in a positive mindset. I must note, I can definitely see I am trying to justify my actions, and possibly I am, so it would be interesting to hear feedback 😄

2 thoughts on “Temptations…

  1. I have made some lifestyle changes since my cancer diagnosis. It is such a personal choice and only you know what is appropriate and realistic for you to do. I feel I have become a little selfish since my diagnosis but that’s because I need to feel like I have some level of control in a situation I know I can’t fully control. I think we often get caught up in trying to find answers. In a way we tend to make these changes because we feel/hope they would fix something — that they would give us the answers we are looking for as to why we got cancer. Truth is, we don’t really know. On the other hand, living a healthy lifestyle can contribute to staying healthy but I just don’t necessarily think it will save us from getting a cancer.

    I wouldn’t feel guilty about enjoying your life.They say everything in moderation is OK. I agree. I have my days when I eat foods with a lot of soy — my tumor’s diet was based on estrogen and progesterone — they made my tumor grow. Soy increases the level of estrogen in my body. Does this mean I will stop eating soy-based foods? No. But I am careful about quantity and try not to abuse my body because after all, it’s the only one we’ve got, even if it betrays us. We have to come to peace with it and help it heal. You also need to heal your mind and your heart and those require many different things.

    Liked by 1 person

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