Does something greater exist?

28th October 2015: Byron Bay, New South Wales, Australia

Ill symptoms recently experienced have questioned my overall existence, and I descended into a place not frequently visited. Admittedly, the place is dark, and it is where I entertain destructive thoughts about my my life. It wasn’t till hearing a quote just moments ago that enabled me to block the destructive thoughts and instead focus completely on my long, loving life awaiting me. For those still reading, I encourage you to not see me attaching to anything to give me hope, but alternatively question whether something greater is supporting me throughout this process. It may sound weird at first, and again possibly another juncture for some to stop reading at, however, it seems the quote was heard at the very right moment to refuel my defence system.

Upon dissecting the events, an observer could simply say it was a case of listening to lyrics in a song whilst driving home. Again, I encourage those to not think of coincidences, and instead consider all the minute details forming at the exact moment to make me open to connecting with the lyrics of the song. Honestly, it has had a significant impact and will form the basis of a mental exercise to be completed to support my thinking.

The quote is “they say the darkest hour is before dawn”.

Any thoughts?

Questions about who I am..

18th February 2015: Depot Beach (New South Wales East Coast)

It seems an important aspect of removing myself from Sydney with a good friend to such a quiet location has facilitated the process to concentrate and later discuss in confidence a number of matters that have been at the forefront of my thinking. Namely, my relationship and place in life, and not just in a context of a person recently single after my breakup, however, my relationship with the story that defines me as a person who is on treatment for Cancer.

I must acknowledge, there are times whereby doubts about future prospects are ever present, and consequently I am left to live between paradoxical states. I also recognise, it is impossible to just define my relationship with Cancer in an instant. Admittedly, I do feel opportunities, such as the life lived in the current surroundings greatly promote a deeper understanding of the connection had with myself, and lastly, the option of just allowing my body and mind to drift into the tranquility, slow pace and peace available on offer in my current environment acts comparably to a spiritual retreat whereby every chance is available to both seek and receive many questions relating to who I am as a person.