30th July 2015: Sydney, Australia
In approximately eight hours I will be Cancer Free! Yes, your read it correctly. I am currently waiting to be called to have the the final procedure completed on my left lung. Admittedly, fairly aggressive and evasive treatments have been used, however, purely taking an outcomes approach to reflect on the treatment received leave me in a comfortable position. The next step is to further expand on my existing goals to support my body reach a level of optimum health, enabling me and my loved ones to not again encounters such circumstances.
12th April 2015: Sydney, Australia
A continuation of feeling well seems to be building momentum. It has now been many days since a bout of nausea has been experienced with my energy stocks also seemingly not depleted. Consequently, I have been much more social, a feature eliciting a sense of normality into my life. In addition, I am going to sleep, basking in the comfort of my bed. An experience lost as long as memory allows. Admittedly, in the social arena my complete confidence is still lacking, particularly resulting from the unshifting Cancer narrative I seem bound within. My self-awareness reinforces the origins of the unshifting narrative directly stemming from my internal thought process, however, as previously mentioned, momentum feels to be building.
I would like to say the battle is coming to a close, and the last appointment with my Professor has only reinforced these feelings. Admittedly, I have long advocated for not setting timescales in regards to the length of my treatment, however, periods of happiness flow throughout my thoughts in relation to the approaching prospect of once again resuming what would be deemed a normal life. The corresponding challenge is to ensure the avenue adopted in achieving the state of wellness within my mind and body throughout the entirety of this process continues after the treatment ceases. It is undeniable that to the outside world the previous sentence would not necessarily be shared, however, personally regardless of the circumstances faced, I feel to have found a security within my self. A defining factor I wish continues and flourishes when the next stage of my life begins.
17th March 2015: Sydney Australia
The relief felt this morning was something to cherish, and I instinctively knew the exact moment my eyes opened that the terrors of the night had finished. The night of discomfort commenced as usual once my head hit the pillow with the lights off. Of course, I was thinking in overdrive, with an unproductive and unrealistic thought process circulating throughout my mind. A typical stream of thoughts followed, starting with a period of unease and restlessness till I awoke from a semi-conscious state at approximately 3am to a bout of nausea not experienced in many months. It was at this point, a longing to just be normal again was so present within my thinking. Instead of opting for some medication to ease the discomfort, I simply had a glass of water before miraculously finally falling into a deep sleep. Admittedly, the pain in my tooth was still present when waking up, yet, such a feeling of bliss was experienced at knowing the night and nausea were over, and replaced by the rays of the sun shining light into my room.
I can draw a sense of victory from maintaining a reluctance to just take pain-relief to temporary ease the situation. It seems ridiculous, overdramatic or just a case of using my imagination, however, I see similarities to a scene from a movie whereby a ravished crew awake to a flat ocean and bright shining sun after a night of fierce storms. The lesson learned is that hard times are to be endured, and the easiest option is not necessarily the best option.