A thankyou to family and friends

29th August 2015: Sydney, Australia

Today, a celebration spilling out to my street was held to show my gratitude to all my family and friends who have played a key role over the past 18 months. I acknowledge the importance of support, and express my appreciation to those, however, felt a celebration was required. The picture above was one capturing a few of my friends enjoying the day 😄

Hello Asia!

29th May 2015: Bali, Indonesia

The first day has come to a close, and to say I am pleased with the decision to proceed with the trip is an understatement. I am so content, happy and relaxed it actually astounds me to consider I have a Cancerous tumour residing within my body. I am writing this now in the surrounds of a peaceful backdrop, with sounds of the ocean playing joyfully with the black sand as it flows with the pace of the tide. Interestingly, I went out dancing last night, stayed up late, and although it goes against everything I said yesterday, I had such a fun time with a good friend from London that only feelings of happiness are experienced.

At one period in the day, I found myself surfing with no other people in the water. I felt completely isolated from the world, and as usual my mind started ticking over. Interestingly, it wasn’t a destructive chatter. Rather, positive feelings seemed to be flowing throughout my mind, and I see this resulting from the decision made to compartmentalise certain periods in my day to only think about my future. I see it as more beneficial than constantly blocking out thoughts about my Cancer. The moment of solitude in the water was also heightened by the actual contents of my thoughts. I recognise the disapproval of some may follow, however, the platform is designed to share, so I feel it is a point to be discussed. The idea stems from the entry yesterday about the percentage of my body that is healthy compared to the tumour growing inside of me. For some reason, I have felt the need to draw on sensations from the environment to support my strength and well-being. I achieved this today by taking a moment to simply breathe whilst attempting to seek power from the ocean, sun and trees to heal my body. It is agreed that maybe the levels of desperation are showing, however, I am seeing the attempt as another tool that will possibly result in my survival. Therefore, it may sound naive and laughable, but if I survival, then anything attempted definitely outweighs my death.

Time to switch my thinking and preparation..

22nd April 2015: Sydney, Australia

Another photo was taken today to coincide with my plans to track my recovery in pictures. The shot highlights the need for an increase in sunshine, and the changing of seasons from summer into winter. I was surprised to see the vast difference in my skin colour across the months, and it seems a greater level of physical health correlates with exposure to sunshine. The photos from July and December support these claims. Another noticeable change is the reappearance of the slant within my posture. A correction in my body thought to be fixed.

Interestingly, I have almost been writing for a year, and have plans to review the entires whilst travelling solo. One point coming to my mind is the actual benefits obtained in writing, and being more specific, I would say whether the process of writing makes me think more negatively? For instance, I was not writing at the corresponding time last year before heading to the UK, and consequently, I doubt a comparable level of concern would have been experienced regarding my health, and how my body would respond whilst away. On reflection, factors need to be considered, namely, the increase of Mitotane being administered, the familiarity of London and the prospect of living with my girlfriend at the time. All points possibly explain the differences in my preparation, however, the point of concern and worry needs to be focused upon regarding my upcoming trip. In reality, it seems I am more inclined to write about potential mishaps, compared to the prospect of spending two months in the sun, surfing magical waves and visiting Ubud to emerge myself within yoga for a period of time. It seems these latter points need to be at the forefront of my thinking when having doubts, especially when considering the hypothesis posed in the first paragraph about a greater level of health appears to correlate with an increase in sunshine. To conclude, it appears the solution has surfaced. It is really simple, basically I just need to get my head in the right frame of mind, not be so dour about everything, and imagine the fun times to be had!