If I repeat the past, will that then become my future?

11th October 2015: Sydney Australia

The plan for improving with my physical strength was to concentrate solely in the first instance on a reintroduction of yoga and swimming. The combination of the two activities were implemented, and a degree of success was obtained, however, a question surfaced revolving around the thought of what results would be obtained by simply repeating the planning from last year? Obviously, progression was the primary focus, namely, having the capacity to once again undertake a range of calisthenic exercises. But, really, do I just want to reach a similar level to last time, or do I wish to push beyond any point achieved in the past?

The answer is simple. Obviously, I want to most definitely want to surpass any past levels of strength and fitness, and therein lies the reasoning for adding a routine of tabata into my weekly regime. Basically, tabata is a range of explosive exercises completed in a short period of time with limited breaks. It is extremely useful for anyone who considers themselves time poor. A category I do not associate with, however, being able to complete a fairly strenuous routine in 15 minutes only works in collaborating with yoga and swimming to hopefully place me in a position whereby I can achieve some of the outstanding exercise goals established last year.

The power of love

15th September 2015: Sydney, Australia

I have just seen off my mum at the hospital, and honestly more tears have been shed over the past two days in comparison to the entirety of my experience with Cancer. The feelings attached to the circumstances unfolding for my mum highlight the point covered yesterday regarding the impact Cancer (or any illness/disability) can have on the loved ones of an individual.

Ironically, the experience with my mum has provided a renewed thirst for life. I can understand the absurdity in the above statement, so an explanation will be detailed. Firstly, I must say a level of guilt is felt surrounding the predicament my mum now faces, and I see this stemming from the stressors I am responsible for. The stressors started during my teen years with a range of adolescent behaviours, however, the climax was approximately 20 months ago when I informed my parents I had a tumour growing inside of me. From the point of that initial phone call, I know my mum has constantly worried about me. It is this worry and concern that gives me drive. Of course I am upset, and will continue to shed more tears over the coming weeks, however, I am determined to make her happy in the future whilst supporting her get to a place whereby she sees me living a fulfilling life with a loving and beautiful family of my own. Yes, again the hopeless romantic in me is on display, and in conclusion, I believe the power of love is needed to replace the cloud of worry and concern strangling my family at present.

Positive vs Negative

27th November 2014: Sydney, Australia

If talking truly about my attitude and outlook, I would say I am positive, however, the journal may not be a true reflection of this as often it seems I am negative in my thinking. I believe the fragility existing in my life what shines through in my writing. If true, I wonder if this then correlates with my communication with those close to me?