24th September 2015: Sydney, Australia
Is it just me or do others find it easier to write when not feeling great? Honestly, I feel a need to share my despair and pain with world, yet, when feeling happy or simply content in my life, the motivation to write about my experiences appear to not rate highly on my list of priorities. Is this just the way we are wired or is it me?
I can easily draw on events or activities occurring frequently in my life to share, however, a disparity seems to exist in my motivation to write between the varying times. For the longevity of my blog, possibly I need to expand from simply providing accounts saturated in negativity to many other facets in life.
Those of you I have shared comments would know one of the most beneficial points of the blogging is to to connect with others. Therefore, I ask whether anyone at anytime has a topic they wish me to write about? I should provide a disclaimer, highlighting my incapacity of quality assuring the writing in advance, however, it may be another beneficial way to connect with others and share ideas. To conclude, fire away people 😄
18th September 2015: Sydney, Australia
I received confirmation my body is clear of any Cancer. A point to usually to celebrate, and admittedly, I am of course extremely pleased with the results, however, it does not feel like the time to be experiencing joy. Of course a focus needs to centre upon my health and wellbeing, and neglecting my own feelings will inevitably result in an imbalance within my body. It just seems so hard to be experiencing happiness knowing my mum is suffering. In saying that, I do recognise a place needs to be found whereby the emotions associated with my mum are better managed whilst also ensuring sufficient attention is placed on my personal growth and development. Furthermore, it is essential to think of the circumstances unfolding on a wider scale. No longer is it possible to solely focus on my journey as it now appears the futures of my mum and I are interconnected. Therefore, it is pivotal to support my mum in many ways, including the necessity of sharing my personal successes and strength. Ultimately, this strategy will ease her concern about my wellbeing, allowing her to focus more on herself, and importantly, will hopefully support the both of us to thrive in the future.
9th September 2015: Sydney, Australia
The yoga classes attended yesterday and today made me reflect on the time spent since my operation, particularly in regards to questions about whether I used the time effectively. I definitely allowed time for my body and soul to heal, however, I am uncertain if a degree of complacency was able to creep into my life throughout the latter weeks. I believe a feeling of simply being content in life was apparent, and ironically, it seems I have an enhanced ability at juggling multiple tasks when a greater number of activities feature in my day. Moreover, virtually all the tasks I wish to be completing when I make a return to my usual level functioning are undertaken on an individual basis. Consequently, sacrifices to the social component of my life are necessary should the life I thought I wish to strive for be implemented. It seems my previous planning centred upon the concept of self-improvement, and the planning resulted in a loss to my social connections. Therefore, it is essential to ensure I learn from my past, and still partake in all the actives I wish to complete, however, prioritise the space to regularly connect with friends and family in social situations.
4th September 2015: Sydney, Australia
I just reviewed my entry from yesterday, finding little to currently resonate with in my current state of mind. It makes me think how strange it is to witness my feelings fluctuate from one day to the next. Undoubtedly, the very condition of human nature is to be dynamic, responding in accordance to our surrounding environment, and the changing state of mind is not specific for the Cancer population (if I can label it as such). The feelings of all is bound to fluctuate depending on varying events and stressors in their lives, however, my personal experience makes me inclined to think people with Cancer or other mental and or chronic health concerns would feel the swings more frequently and intensely. The direct influence of fearing actual death is the key factor behind my reasoning. Admittedly, there are times like today whereby I am feeling positive and in a generally normal mind-state, however, as seen yesterday, an inherent fear is yet to be conquered.
30th August 2015: Sydney, Australia
I have been considering the events from last night, and can clearly identify how a few pivotal moments determine my future actions when in a social situation. The picture posted yesterday gives an indication of the celebration unfolding around me, and I am pleased to be able to associate positive feelings with the night, particularly in relation to the decisions made at specific stages. Most notably, those moments whereby the direction of the night can transform my night into a place I do not wish to be. Hopefully, the night can be used in future situations to assist me in continually making better choices in my life. Failure to learn from those moments will only lead me in a direction away from how I wish to be living my life.
24th May 2015: Sydney
There is little wonder why Obesity levels are causing such massive concerns for many nations. The perfect example was played out in front of me as I looked on in amazement. I was at a leaving function, and the amount of unhealthy foods and drinks was astonishing. My mind was left wondering what solution exists to fix the problem as it seems so entrenched to associate a celebration with such foods and soft drinks. The only point coming to mind is ironically a matter I have been thinking about recently.
The topic is the excessive amount of food displayed on social media sites, and to be honest, I was opposed to all the healthy version of cakes or other desserts constantly on display. My reasoning stemmed from a thought of the foods not changing the behaviour of people on a wider scale. Rather, the display of cakes and sweets would lead the typical person to simply eating the same way. I must say, bearing witness to the events today definitely changed my opinion, and it seems the awareness of healthier options of these foods and availability of fruit, a now somewhat demonised item of food needs to be thoroughly distributed to the greater masses so alternative options are available for people to try and hopefully choose to eat in the future. Failure for this to happen surely signals an increase in even a fatter and unhealthier population of people.
1st May 2015: Sydney, Australia
A possible flaw has been identified in the framework I designed to help others with Cancer. Initially, my planning was based on the idea of challenging attendees in a similar manner to others in the community who engage in group work, however, recent circumstances in my life brought the matter to surface, namely, the limited emphasis I placed on the possible physical and mental capacity of future participants. On reflection, I feel my intentions reflect the personal strategy created to ensure I faced the duration of time on chemotherapy with a belief of undermining the impact it would have on my life. I acknowledge many would suggest overlooking the impact of treatment for people is negligent, and I must add, of course consideration was made to such a blatant point, however, I feel sufficient attention was not directed to the area.
The events leading to a shift in my thinking again derive from the level movement in my life, and most likely links to memories elicited from viewing past photos. In summary, I have developed a tailored plan in regards to the level of movement that will feature on a weekly basis. My reasoning for tailoring the plan as such results from a knowledge of avoiding physically over exerting myself whilst recognising the great importance needed on recovery time to combat levels of fatigue experienced. The fact my programme is much less intense compared to one in place should I not be receiving treatment is a clear example of the need to also design the framework accordingly. I do recognise the main focus on movement in my life, and some may argue this may not be a suitable example when making comparisons with mental fatigue. In response, I would advise those people give equal weight to mental and physical fatigue, and my reasoning derives from previous study undertaken over the past year whereby I realised that regardless of whether it is physical, mental or even emotional fatigue, the end result is the same. It is for this very reason, I will explore avenues to decrease the load on future people who hopefully partake in my programme.