17th July 2015: Westmeed Hospital, Sydney, Australia
I believe I will now finally adhere to never focusing on timeframes in terms of my recovery. It was a point heard very early in my Cancer experience, and continually I have failed to apply the term within my life. Consequently, low periods surfaced when a timeframe was not met, and as a result it felt like the foundation of my belief system slightly crumbled with each disappointment. Numerous examples in regards to the topic of timeframes can be drawn upon, and recently, my time in hospital has reinforced the need to not think of timeframes.
I was meant to leave hospital on Saturday with all three procedures complete. I was then informed the departure date would be two days ago plus an additional admission was required, and now I won’t be out till Tuesday (at earliest). Although it is a small matter, it is another example of delays and possible disappointment. I was literally five minutes away from having the needed procedure that was the reason for keeping me here till Tuesday, and I was just informed the surgical team did not read the notes provided by the Endocrine team regarding the levels of Cortisol essential for the procedure. So, now it has been delayed till the appropriate levels are administered intravenously. Obviously, major differences exist between a slight delay and other more important areas in my life. Plus, I am possibly overreacting, however, it has again made me consider the very poignant point first exposed to at the beginning of my Cancer experience.
thatsortofhealthyguy 
Time should not mean anything anymore when you go with the flow. Just live things, don’t keep studying and analysing them too pointedly. If you must analyse, then analyse your own emotions and reflect on what they lead you to in terms of thoughts. Be forgiving of all shortcomings, yours and others. Be well and already healed always.
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Timeframe is a very common topic in cancerland — how long before I heal from surgery, how long before I stop feeling sick from chemo, how long before my mind heals…and the hardest of them all, how much time do I have. I didn’t question about timeframe during my cancer mess but I do now, which is weird to me. Maybe it has to with the fact that I feel like I am running out of time. I’ve also lost a sense of control. Cancer does that. Mainly, I think we want timeframe because we seek to have the control we once (thought) we had. Truth is we never have control over much in life which is why it’s probably best to take one day at at time.
I hope things get easier.
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