16th June 2015: Bali, Indonesia
Management of Cancer was a key point discussed at the last appointment with my doctor. The very concept has a direct connection to the reality of having Cancer for the rest of my life whilst placing speculation around the actual amount of more years ahead. If true, my focus needs to shift from an acceptance of the feelings associated when placed in a state of prolonged uncertainty to accepting a Cancer will remain inside me till I pass away. Undoubtedly, the question now looms as to whether I will accept this new reality. Well, it is simple. No fucking way!
I will not succumb to just accepting defeat. Instead, I will draw on all the learning from the first time, and ensure my capacity is at the optimum state to overcome the current predicament. I plan to use the content from the programme I designed to review a number of key areas in my life, including the way I communicate with medical staff. Most notably, I will now the focus on living, opposed to engrossing myself in research papers or becoming dragged down by statistics or percentages about my chance of survival. Lastly, a wide range of alternate avenues will be explored to promote my wellness. A whole other post will be required to give clarity on the latter remark.