18th February 2015: Depot Beach (New South Wales East Coast)
It seems an important aspect of removing myself from Sydney with a good friend to such a quiet location has facilitated the process to concentrate and later discuss in confidence a number of matters that have been at the forefront of my thinking. Namely, my relationship and place in life, and not just in a context of a person recently single after my breakup, however, my relationship with the story that defines me as a person who is on treatment for Cancer.
I must acknowledge, there are times whereby doubts about future prospects are ever present, and consequently I am left to live between paradoxical states. I also recognise, it is impossible to just define my relationship with Cancer in an instant. Admittedly, I do feel opportunities, such as the life lived in the current surroundings greatly promote a deeper understanding of the connection had with myself, and lastly, the option of just allowing my body and mind to drift into the tranquility, slow pace and peace available on offer in my current environment acts comparably to a spiritual retreat whereby every chance is available to both seek and receive many questions relating to who I am as a person.
17th February 2015: Depot Beach (New South Wales East Coast)
I met a friend two days ago approximately four hours south of Sydney and will be staying for another two days before returning home. A brief recap of the circumstances preceding this entry provide an overview of the past two days. We are staying in a little shack within a national park, and have each taken temporary residence on the balcony. My friend has decided a single mattress should accompany him to provide complete satisfaction whilst I sit slightly tilted in a chair with my feet resting on the railings. A rather apt situation, bearing in mind the setting of our current existence. A constant chirping of native birds mixed with a breaking of waves dominate all auditory senses, and our eyes can easily become fixated on the array of flora and fauna resembling the outer layer of an oil painting set upon a canvass showing the Australian environment. Moreover, a bright blue skyline seems to complete with the striking crystallised water in the foreground that captures all other available space.
My friend had the intention of reading, however, is now resting in foetal position, leaving me to enjoy the slight breeze gently pushing onto the balcony whilst I sporadically shift my gaze according to the noises coming from the choir of birds singing from the tress overlooking the short row of empty holiday houses. The breeze oddly brings to surface memories of sitting in an office whereby the room temperature is controlled by an ever-antagonising air conditioning system. The contrast is almost unbearable, when considering the fact of my nasal passages are the means of transporting fresh air throughout my respiratory system, and for so many years there subject to constant abuse form a controlled devise. A factor definitely not resonating with a goal to ensuring my body is in the optimum state for enjoyment, peace and healing.
A twitching of my friend at the presence of a mosquito passing by is a reminder of need to add further details to the events of the past two days. The day commences with the rays of the sun calling my eyes to open. Surprisingly, I rise with no effort and directly walk towards the balcony to commence a morning yoga routine. A wholesome breakfast has followed fuelling my body with the necessary energy to enjoy the conditions of surf, and although the waves were virtually unridable today, the scenery, lack of people and weather still made the task a pursuit worth undertaking.