20th January 2015: Sydney Australia
My whole body ached from the moment of waking, consequently a sluggish approach to the day followed with the majority of the day spent resting. The only moment of relief followed the remedial massage enjoyed in the afternoon. The day reinforced the need to ensure rest is factored into my daily routine plus made me consider the role of love and close companionship in correlation with a recovery from Cancer. I am basing this statement on the past three weeks whereby my girlfriend had been staying in Sydney, and interestingly these weeks were the most active had since my operation, yet I hardly experienced any serious bouts of nausea. Another factor was the increase in motivation to partake in activities compared to times when I am spending time alone. It seems there is almost a fine line between undertaking my usual schedule of activities, including yoga, surfing, reading, writing and exercise and exerting myself in a range of varying activities. I guess it should be noted that a typical day did see an afternoon crash, and this is a point not to be overlooked when reflecting on the time with a sense of nostalgia. Logically, the discussion leads me to consider the matter of employment and when will be the appropriate time to renter the workforce. It has been a matter at the forefront of my thinking recently due to a state of curiosity about whether a comfort in not working will be hard to shift. Ultimately, making it actually difficult to feel prepared to commence working again. Lastly, and importantly, the sense of working was much stronger in April/May last year when I was actively looking for positions compared to a somewhat acceptance currently held about my incapacity to work. Thus, limited interest and attention is presently placed on employment. Instead, my focus is completely directed to achieving and sustaining a level of health that surpasses previously experienced. The words I finish with entail a question of whether love to a close complain is always present in my life leads to my overall capacity to complete all tasks, including a renewed interest in work? Or am I just a hopeless failed romantic at heart?