11th December 2014: Sydney
In the morning, I was completing a yoga routine with supposed benefits for people experiencing cold/flu symptoms. It consists of seven restorative floor based poses, and it has actually been successful over the past few days in relieving some of the sinus. A sequence unfolded throughout the routine resulting in a completely varied series of movements unconsciously becoming integrated into the routine. I must note, there was no thinking or planning behind the actions of my body to bend into varying poses, it just seemed my body was enhancing the routine with additional poses. The experience appeared to be a case whereby my body rather than my mind was in control. Almost like my body was making decisions based on a knowledge of an improved state of health whilst armoured with an understanding of how much it was able diverge from the planned routine.
I believe the events from this morning demonstrate a time where my body was in complete control, with my ever active mind being relegated to the superiority of the wonders of the body. In summary, the experience reinforced the need to create an environment that allows another unanswered agreement between my mind and body to occur. One final point would be to make reference to the mental components associated with the experience because upon concluding the full routine, my mind felt so fresh and alter. Thus, leading me to believe that a return to full health has occurred, and the odd yet extremely powerful connection between my mind and body became evident.
10th December 2014: Sydney Australia
The road may be changing, well at least it feels like it is, and I am hoping upon waking up tomorrow morning signals further changes from how I currently feel. It simply can be labelled another day of rest, I did manage a surf and added some extra movement into my gentle relaxing yoga routine, however, overall it was a very quiet and uneventful day. It seems the idea of attempting to discover a somewhat miracle cure to future illnesses was a little unrealistic, in reality, nature has taken it’s course, and now I am starting to feel better. There would be inconclusive evidence to prove any of my actions has helped my circumstances and were a better choice than opting for either no changes in my life or opting for use of medicine. I guess, the attention placed on recovering faster can reinforce a belief about the capacity of my body to heal. Alternatively, as was showed yesterday, my mood can become deflated.
Another matter brought to my awareness over the past few days is the aroused curiosity on the reasoning for two colds striking within three months, bearing in mind no ill-health was experienced since the operation. The last blood results revealed no striking abnormality in regards to my white blood cells, dismissing the potential of the chemotherapy causing a weakened immunity. Again, I may be reporting very flawed information due to my lack of medical knowledge, and am basing this on my seemingly limited understanding of the body, however, it interesting, and hopefully is just a case of having sequential colds opposed to a matter much more severe.
9th December 2014: Sydney, Australia
I will persist with this theme till I rid my body of this cold/flu. An emergence of a deflated mood and associated thoughts has surfaced. Perspective is most definitely needed on my circumstances, and I refuse to spiral down the depths of my thought process for such normal occurrences. Instead, the matter was just needing to be mentioned, adding my clear intentions to move on. The question posed though is how do I just describe my feelings and move on? Instantly, I seem drawn to negative aspects that seems apparent within my thinking, similar to the insatiable desire Gollum has to once again obtain the ring. My limited knowledge of The Lord of the Rings needs to be raised, and admittedly the comparison may not have truly represented the lack of motivation and negative overall outlook on life seemingly evident within my thinking. The incapacity to exercise, complete yoga or surf appears to be an antecedent to a certain chain of thoughts, however, interestingly, the process of writing, albeit brief has already relived some of the destructive patterns circulating throughout my mind.
The relevance of exercise in my life most definitely stems from the narrative created about the need to progress and evolve in every-way possible. Again, focus is on the physical aspects of my life, yet, it stretches far wider. For example, the lack of motivation to either write a journal entry or commence preparation for the imminent meeting at Sydney University for my group proposal shows I am not completely dedicated to progressing in all areas of my life. In addition, if we were to look at my social connections you would see a detachment from those around me, and finally, the renewed focus on meditation has again limited with it difficult to obtain a state within my body and mind allowing me to direct attention. I feel a counter argument is to follow, and in essence the basis of the argument relates to how a cold/flu effects other people. It would not be inaccurate to suggest similar changes would be noticed when others are not feeling the best. Although, I recognise this, I am still unable to separate myself from the need and importance I place on trying to excel in my life. Whether this is actually being implemented or not is obviously debatable, and external feedback would only be the real way of quantifying this neurotic and maybe delusion view on my life. I wonder what degree of neuroticism would actually exist in my life if I did seek this external feedback.
8th December 2014: Sydney, Australia
The saga continues. My day thus far included two sleeps, a gentle yoga session, and three periods of meditation. In addition, more time in the sun, a repeat of the cleanse in the salt water and the added element of laughter. Interestingly, a point overlooked yesterday was the unexpected social encounter with a friend whilst swimming. The time spent chuckling with a friend should have featured, particularly when considering the power of laughter and social connection on our well-being. In terms of measuring the trajectory of this flu. Overall, I would seem to be feeling better, namely, with the sore throat appearing to have disappeared, and hopefully this signals further progress tomorrow with a return to full heath very shortly.
A point I am wanting to get across is for the need to develop and maintain a routine when meditating to support my body switch from the ever present mode of thinking into one more at peace and conducive to healing. Currently, the following phrase has been repeated in my mind before bowing my head to kiss my hands, “I have strength, I have power, I will progress, I will become more intelligent and I am hoping for good health for all my loved ones”. I then focus on five main points within my body, those points being my middle eye and symmetrical points in both my hands and feet. I have never planned for such a routine, and the influences coming to my attention appear to derive from a combination of readings about the power of frontal lobe, i.e. the middle eye and a Jeudo/Christian image of Christ. Surprisingly, I have no connection with a religion so am unsure of how an image of Christ has appeared into my consciousness, possibly just a classic case of the subtle effects of priming, and the power of tapping into the unconscious mind to influence behaviour and thinking. On this matter, it is my knowledge, that the five points are included in an Eastern Approach to medicine for their potential healing powers, leading me to deduce another unknown influence that has surfaced into my subconscious mind. Lastly, I am aware my process has evolved since first being exposed to the connection between the mind and body, and may be exported in greater depth in a later entry to portray my personal journey thus far.