10th November 2014: Sydney, Australia
An entry last week established a timeframe setting an intention to integrate a space for affirmations or breathing into my morning daily routine. It appears the aspect of physically positioning myself in such a way is the barrier needing to be overcome. I have identified that an acceptance of not choosing to complete the task results from the stiffness felt in my body upon first waking. Ultimately, meaning I am not achieving the outcome due to the necessary effort involved. Interesting, it contradicts my entire underlying approach to life since starting my plan to find a place for Cancer.
Often when talking about Cancer, I use the phrase ‘what it brought to me’ in an attempt to reframe common conceptions about the experience. My outlook towards Cancer is to view it in terms of what is can provide, opposed to what can be taken away. It was developed in the initial post-surgery phase to combat a sense of me believing in ‘enduring’ pain or discomfort as a means of progression. The roots of this belief commenced whist lying in the hospital bed recovering from the surgery, and later it was applied in many areas of my life, including swimming in a pool. For example, I was wanting to stop swimming, however, thoughts about enduring the discomfort of the process kept me swimming more laps than desired. Consequently, a level of risk to my health could have resulted from this belief. At present, I am attempting to shift this belief about enduring to simply living my life. The reasoning derives from a belief in the need for a healthy mindset, and the connotations associated with a life of enduring do not equate to a healthy mindset.