12th October 2014: Sydney, Australia
Sunshine! The bliss associated with the sun and days like today are to be treasured. My feelings may be influenced by the feelings first experienced when waking up in the morning. Immediately, I was aware a return to planned levels of movement would occur, obviously making me pleased the symptoms had passed. I understand a lot of attention is placed on movement and physical exercise, and I will state in confidence the recommencing of my daily routine will greatly lift my mood and overall well-being.
A day like today reminds me of how the sun can act like a person who successfully gets everyone out together to celebrate in the spirits of the community. Well, it certainly did for me. So many positive interactions with friends were had today, including one of those interesting and meaningful conversations with a friend and his wife whereby the very fabrics of life were shared and discussed. A conversation making me revisit the importance of thinking about those people in the inner circle of your life. A conversation leaving you happy, even though at times the topics shared weren’t particularly pleasant or easy content to discuss. The conversation also was a platform to pass on some of my ideas, obtaining some initial feedback and acting as a motivation to press on with my accountability in relation to my personal projects. The contrasts of life were also evident, and a sense of guilt is currently felt. Firstly, I wasn’t on the best of terms with my girlfriend due to an online argument carried over from yesterday, and the atmosphere at home has suffered a blow due to the vehicle of my dad being stolen two nights ago. So in reality, I am talking about a happiness when two of the people I love are suffering. It seems like such a selfish outlook on life whereby the strong negative emotions experienced by others doesn’t really influence my day. My feelings cant be justified at all. Of course I am upset for my dad and dislike not being on the best of terms with my girlfriend, however, the only question I am pondering is whether Cancer has made me so selfish that my search for happiness comes at the expense of not being attentive and supportive to others around me?
I would describe Cancer as extremely self-indulgent, extensive reference to the need for people playing a supportive role only strengthens this concept. Also, constantly, the importance of having people around me has been mentioned, however, within all of this, have I become so blinded by my own stressors that support to others around me is not reciprocal?
– How would you define the relationships had with those in your inner circle?
– What comes to mind when thinking about a reciprocal friendship or relationship and how the rules that govern the relationship have been effected by Cancer?